Fourteen years
Thirty minutes, fifteen seconds
I've held this grudge
Eleven songs
Four full journals
Thoughts of punishment
I've expended
Not in contact
Not a letter
Such communication telepathic
You've been vilified
Used as fodder
You deserve a piece of every record
But who's it hurting now?
Who's the one that's stuck?
Who's it torturing now with an antique knot in her stomach?
I want to be big and let go
Of this grudge that's grown old
All this time I've not known
How to rest this bygone
I want to be soft and resolved
Clean of state and released
I want to forgive for the both of us
Like an abandoned house
Dusty-covered furniture
Still intact
If I visit it now
Do I simply relive it
Somehow
Gratuitous
But who's still aching now?
Who's tired of her own voice?
Who's it weighing down with no gift from time of said healing?
I want to be big and let go
Of this grudge that's grown old
All this time I've not known
How to rest this bygone
I want to be soft and resolved
Clean of state and released
I want to forgive for the both of us
Maybe as I cut the cord
Veils will lift from my eyes
Maybe as I lay this to rest
Dead weight off my shoulders will rise
Here I sit
Much determined
Ever ill-equipped
To draw this curtain
How this has entertained
Validated and has served me greatly
Ever the victim
But who's done whining now?
Who's ready to put down
This load I've carried longer than I had cared to remember
I want to be big and let go
Of this grudge that's grown old
For the life of me I've not known
How to rest this bygone
I want to be soft and resolved
Clean of state and released
I want to forgive for the both of us
I want to be big and let go
Of this grudge that's grown old
For the life of me I've not known
How to rest this bygone
I want to be soft and resolved
Clean of state and released
I want to forgive for the both of us